Somehow there's peace

Gaelle's adoption has presented one hurdle after another.  It's one thing to see a hurdle and although you know it will be hard, you take your best running start and leap as high as you can in hopes to clear the hurdle.  But, what happens when the hurdles disappear and are replaced with what looks more like brick walls reaching to the sky?  What happens when you want to tackle the next predicament but the opportunity for you to try is taken away? 

First, after all the work we spent preparing our dossier, we were told to not even try and bring it to Haiti with us because we would not be able to get court dates.  Then we were told Haiti has cracked down and are not even approving adoptions for families with more than 2 children.  Then I found out that although Haiti will sometimes approve adoptions for children with only one parent's relinquishment of rights signed over, they are now cracking down on this as well and requiring documentation from both parents if they are still alive.  This is bad for Gaelle because although her mother has signed over her relinquishment of rights, her father is still alive and has not signed this document as far as I know.  This is also something Haiti says has to have been done before the earthquake.  There is more, but I will stop there because I think that is enough for you to see how dim the circumstances appear. 

This might sound strange, but somehow, although my longing and desire for Gaelle to be my daughter increases daily, I have an inner peace in the midst of these impossible circumstances.  I think it's because before when I was seeing hurdles, I was leaping.  Now that I see brick walls as high as the sky, I have no alternative but to give it all over into God's hands...the leaping stops and there I have peace.  He is enthroned and in total control.  

A sweet friend of mine reminded me to keep believing until God says otherwise...to keep my eyes on Him and His ability rather than the circumstances.  That is what we are doing.  Our family is praying the prayer Jehoshaphat prayed in 2 Chronicles 20:12, "We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you."  God is up to something and has already accomplished great works in my life through this journey and I will continue to praise Him and give Him all glory.   

In less than 2 days I will be on a plane to Haiti to meet Gaelle for the very first time.  I am praying God will use me to love and pray over her as well as the other orphans and that they will all gain real joy and hope in their lives from our time there.  I am praying my disappointment about where we sit with this adoption would not for one second bring any sense of discouragement to Gaelle.  Rather, I pray that God would use these very circumstances along with the love and longing He has placed in my heart for her over these last two months to build a strength in me that provides a reflection of such an abundant level of love that otherwise would not have been present.  I know I will return home changed by God as a result of this mission trip to Haiti.  I also believe God will bring more clarity to me in this adoption journey.  I will be so happy to return and share all that God will do in and through me over this next week. 

I want to say thank you to Grandee for sacrificing the Mon.-Fri. early morning shift to care for my precious babies while I am gone and Trey is at work.  I want to thank my sweet friend, Kara, for her availability to come over for play dates. 
Liz, over this next week, little Joe and your family will be lifted up and covered in prayer from the mountains of Haiti. 

Now I want to give you a small taste of my husband's comical side.  He was telling a co-worker about how I was leaving for six days and that he would be taking care of the kids.  She was giving Trey some encouraging advice and mentioned that he would be fine as long as he didn't feed the kids too many sweets or something like that.  Trey replied, "I have to feed them?" 
I want to say a special thank you to my most amazing, funny and loving husband.  Trey, you are the love of my life and my best friend in the whole world.  You make going away for six days possible because I know without an ounce of doubt that when the kids are with you they are in perfect loving care.  You are the best daddy and I am so thankful our kids have you in their lives.  The kids and I love you like crazy!!    

I want you to all know how special and precious you are to me.  As you've chosen to share in this journey with our family through both the ups and downs, you have permanently become beautiful pieces of this puzzle.  As the remainder of the pieces fall into place, I wait in expectation to gaze upon the finished picture with you!  In His perfect time....we will celebrate together.



Gaelle, I don't know how this story will end, but that will never change my love for you.  I will forever have you in my heart, praying for you and loving you no matter where you are.  We are going to have a whole week to get to know each other and play your favorite games.  I cannot wait to hold you sweet girl!

Lord, we don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.  I love you.  Amen.