When You Feel The Hand of God Move

Things happen.  Sometimes you think you are in the loop and it’s going as you hoped it would.  Other times you think you are way off track and it’s turning out to be a disaster. 
Then, later you think you know or maybe even invent on your own the ‘why’ to go along with the things that have happened.
I wonder how amazed we will all be when we finally get to see the fullness of His sovereign plans….all I know is that every single detail will point to giving our KING abundant glory in every way!! 
I also believe Jesus blesses us even now with glimpses of this glory during our temporary earthly lives…one taste of His glory and goodness and you find yourself willing to die to yourself to follow Jesus if even for only one more millisecond of experiencing His presence.  Yes…it’s that good!  Psalm 84:10 “Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”

I’ve had some hard days lately…days where I have failed in keeping the faith.  I can look back and point everything that has happened with our adoption straight back to the moving hand of God, but in the last few days, I allowed one thing to overcome all of the glory God has shown me through all of this and for a moment (about two days actually) my soul was defeated and I felt lost.  You see, when we found out our home refinance we were depending on to fund our adoption fell through...my eyes were shifted from the LORD’S abilities to my own and I became fearful.  I would tell myself the truth...I wanted my heart to trust in the LORD even when I could not see the ‘why or how’ of my circumstance but instead I found my self saying things to Trey, like, "What are we even doing?  I can't do this anymore."  Praise God for Trey and his gentle way of encouraging me with TRUTH while I played 'woe is me' and 'I can't go on'.  We have overcome many obstacles on this journey, but this was the first time I felt like things started to close in and I began to suffocate in the process. 

God's love and mercy is unfailing.  He has lifted me out of the pit of fear and my eyes are once again set on the ONE who is in control!  A road trip to Tomball to visit my family proved to be such a blessing as I was able to escape from my worry and enjoy sweet time with my parents, sister, nieces and nephews, and a very dear friend (Love you, Melissa and I am wearing my beads you gave me from Uganda today!!). 

I still don’t have a for sure answer to how our adoption will be financed, but today a new loan(one geared toward rural property like ours) is now underway and being processed.  The beauty of this new loan (if approved) has a lower interest rate than the first one we attempted and would provide all of the adoption expenses we will have.  Praying God's will in this.

So...today many things happened.  They happened in a way that I could feel the hand of God moving in a tangible way…taking my breath away…leaving me in awe.  Not only did we get encouraging news of our possible financing for our adoption, but the babies were transferred to God’s Littlest Angels orphanage, and I express-mailed my certified dossier to my agency. 

The transfer is HUGE!  Pastor Nahum is a true servant of Jesus and I praise God for him as he loved and cared for the twins for their first three months of life and then helped me get them transferred so we can proceed with their adoption. Around 1pm today Pastor Nahum called and said the babies had left for their new orphanage and he was already missing them.  Oh, so emotional.  Some of the best things we are called to do are also the hardest.  Then at 5pm today I received an email from Dixie with God’s Littlest Angels saying the twins had just arrived safely.   She also told me how cute they are, which of course I already know :)

Having my dossier sent to my agency is also HUGE!  It was basically our final responsibility in the last 5 months worth of paperwork for our adoption which I honestly haven’t yet processed.  I’m sure tomorrow I will wake up and out of being conditioned to automatically process adoption paperwork, I will pick up my pen or go to my computer to begin, but…there will be nothing to do.  This is a big milestone in our process and I find it correlates perfectly with the transfer of the babies.  On the same day they are transferred to ‘wait’ for us to bring them home to their forever family, we are transitioning out of paperwork mode and into a ‘waiting’ period as well.  As we wait for our babies to come home, may this desire draw us in closer to Him and produce abundant Kingdom fruit.  Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”

Here I am very happy after just walking out of the Secretary of State office in Austin, TX with my certified documents for our dossier:  Thank you my LORD!

I want to walk out the truth that I know.  I want my heart to trust the LORD at all times.  I so so very much love Jesus….like, seriously LOVE HIM!!  When the things that happen around me are not according to my understanding, I want to take that very opportunity to stand in complete faith and trust. 

Lord, help me to fear you and not my circumstances.  Help me to keep my eyes on Your mighty hand and not my own strength.  Thank you Jesus for your blood that covers me and cleanses me of my sin.  I need you, Jesus.  Thank you for letting me feel your hand at work today.  You are my everything! Amen