Today has been one seasoned more heavily with sorrow than usual. Gaelle turned 6 years old today. When this whole process began and I found out her birthday, I was hoping she would have been here to celebrate what probably would have been her very first birthday party ever. I am learning that many times when our eyes see things as disappointing, in time, God reveals to us the beauty of the “wait.” I am believing in His perfect timing. Our family sang Happy Birthday to Gaelle with her present only in our hearts and thoughts. I so badly wished she was here for this day.
The sorrow obviously remains as it is very painful to be fully available to offer hope and life to a small child, yet restrained from acting. Imagine your child is running straight toward a busy street filled with racing traffic or perhaps begins to sink in the swimming pool and is unable to find the strength to keep her head above the water. Now imagine you are within arms reach, fully available to prevent the likely deadly disaster of your child. You immediately take action and begin running to the rescue of your child but are stopped by a wall of glass. You can still see your child suffering and in desperate need for your help but no matter how willing you are, the glass wall forms an unbreakable barrier. You never stop pounding and kicking at the glass because your eyes are set on your suffering child and nothing in you will allow yourself to give up. But, through your perseverance and zealous efforts, your heart is sinking lower and lower every passing second. The glass is not breaking. Helplessness. Sorrow. This is our current position.
How can we have hope? If our lives were solely dependent on our circumstances, then I would have to say…no, hope is not possible. But, because we are children of the Creator of the universe, we are sustained, by HIM, through the difficult circumstances in life and can be filled with hope even in the midst of these struggles. Praise God!! This last Sunday our sermon tied perfectly into this very idea.
In Psalm 84:5-7 it says, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca (weeping), they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.”
My desire is to have my strength constantly in the LORD and when circumstantial valleys arise (and they will for all of us), I will not be shaken. I can be sustained by the LORD and go from strength to strength without having a spiritual valley. Circumstantial valleys are not always preventable but if we are pressing in to HIM, the spiritual valleys do not have to occur. His love is unfailing!!
So, here I am , just a little over 2 months since this adoption journey began, my spirit still filled with hope yet seasoned with sorrow. Although the sorrow will remain a constant until Gaelle is home, the LORD continues to sustain me. Each time a door is opened, HE receives the glory! He has shown himself to me in mighty ways and I stand in awe of how He continues to part these waters little by little. I know the sea is going to split wide open very soon and our daughter will be home with us.
Lord, help me! I cannot break this glass barrier alone. Gaelle is suffering and in need of the love you have placed in our hearts for her and You alone are my only hope. Please see her and have compassion on her. Free her from the trap that is set for her and be her shield of protection. Show us YOUR glory!! We are believing YOU for what is humanly impossible because with YOU, nothing is impossible! Summon YOUR power! Show us YOUR strength! Because YOUR love is better than life my lips will glorify YOU!! Thank you for creating Gaelle six years ago today. Thank you for placing this beautiful, precious gift in the hearts of our family and thank you in advance for the day she will be in our arms. I love YOU!! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now, to leave you with a small taste of just how amazing God is….He opened the doors to voice the cries of our children on Channel 8 News!! He is good!! Follow this link to view the news clip and see a small part of this journey: http://www.wfaa.com/news/local/Haitian-adoption-snag-89468437.html
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