I love you, Jesus

The roller coaster continues with this adoption only this time it’s different.  We’ve been up and down so many times but for the first time it doesn’t feel like we are either up or down…it feels like the entire roller coaster has broken down.  All previous “bad” news has been seasoned with at least a sliver of possibility and eventually proved to be discounted and we would find ourselves once again on a high.  However, as I search through the darkness of  the news received yesterday, I come up totally empty.  I’m straining to see even a shimmer of light.  Our American/English speaking attorney who would be representing our adoptions in Haiti basically came clean and told us that Haiti is not approving adoptions for families with more than two children.  She said she couldn’t take our money and pretend we had hope for completing our adoption and see us lose everything in the end.  We are now home study approved to adopt from Haiti, we have a little girl matched with our family and waiting for us to take her home, we have complied our entire dossier to proceed with the adoption and now, for whatever reason, my spirit is sensing this door has shut.  So many questions are running through my mind.  Is this God’s hand shutting this door or am I just growing weary and lacking faith?  How do I tell my kids that what they have been believing for in these last two months is not going to happen?  Will God use our home study to bring about an adoption of another child at some point?  Will we end up adopting Gaelle even though today it seems as if the door has shut right in our face?  I don’t have any answers but the uncertainty that typically creates anxiety is not succeeding today.  I am doing all I know to do and that is to trust in the LORD with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.  I will praise Him in the highs, lows, and even when we are broken down.  I love you, Jesus.  You are my King and I adore you. 

I have a praise for you to all share with me.  Less than a week ago, sudden heartbreak for my precious friend, Liz, hit hard.  Her 7 year old son, Joe, was diagnosed with cancer and underwent a major surgery this last Mon. to remove the tumor.  We have been crying out to the Name of the Lord for complete healing for Joe since the second we heard about his condition.  Praise God for delivering the good news that was received today.  Joe’s test results appear to be favorable which is a HUGE answer to prayer.  The recovery success rate when dealing with favorable tumors is very high.  Please continue to believe and pray with me for complete healing over Joe in Jesus’ name.

Gaelle, I will see you in just 5 days!!  I can't wait to play with you and get to know you.  No matter how this adoption ends up, you will always be a part of our family and as a child of God you are never alone.  We love you!!

Love and blessings to you all!!