You Keep Holding On

So afraid.  So lonely.  So sad.  So helpless.  So overwhelmed.  So sinful.  So exhausted.  The denied bitterness in relationships eventually results in mostly silence with only occasional superficial conversation.  Failing to succeed at what you know as your only job.  All of my tiny difficulties piled up and were added to a couple of larger difficulties equaling a not so pleasant outcome.  Today I have been frantically grasping for the Lord.  Lord, help!  My hands are slippery and I can’t hold on much longer.  Tears are falling and my pile of tissues next to my computer is turning into a nicely shaped mountain.  My weakness is exposed.  My circumstances are winning.  My joy is fading fast. 

I have stepped out in faith to believe God for things that are humanly impossible…the adoption of Gaelle, restoration of several relationships, the miraculous healing of my dear friend’s son, and to be used in mighty ways on my upcoming mission trip to Haiti.  Why was I not more prepared for what I should have known was coming?  Satan knows he has no power over my salvation but he certainly desires to frustrate my efforts to serve the Lord.  He desires for my life to not bring an ounce of glory to my King Jesus.  Satan has thrown down his attack and I must choose to listen to his lies or to hear and obey the Voice of Truth.   Lord, sustain me.  You never give us more than we can bear.  I am your child and you will never leave me or forsake me.  You have plans to prosper me and not to harm me.  You know the pain my heart feels.  You have heard my cries.  Lord, I am weak and I need you to show yourself strong.  Apart from you, I can do nothing, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I will praise you in the storm, singing praises to You under the refuge of Your wing.  I can feel Your comfort.  My eyes are dry once again and I can see you for who you are…the Maker of the heavens and earth.  My help in times of trouble.  My defender in times of attacks.  The Name above all names.   The One larger than any of my circumstances.  I believe in You and I love You.  

Sorry for being such a  downer today but my transparency has proven to be therapeutic.  I am signing off now with a much more refreshed spirit than when I began this writing and with a music video a friend sent me with lyrics that echo my hearts cry.    I will do less clinging and more surrendering.  I don’t have to cling to Him.  My God is holding on to me. 

If you feel like everything is falling apart, just let go and trust Him.  He will always be there to hold you.  Check out these lyrics and the video link:  “When everything falls apart your arms hold me together,  When everything falls apart you’re the only hope for this heart.  When everything falls apart and my strength is gone, I find you mighty and strong, and you keep holding on.  You keep holding on."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W25MoVv1cU