You know who you are. The ones covering us with love, support, and encouragement as we walk this adoption journey! We want to tell you thank you from the bottom of our hearts! We love you!!
To say we go through each and every day with everyone we know cheering us along in this adoption would be a lie.
There are people in our lives who have responded with anything but support. I will call these people non-supporters but please don't misunderstand. These are people we love and who love us back. Some of their responses have been so strong that you would think we were moving to Haiti instead of adopting from Haiti. Who knows, maybe we will one day.
Responses we get from the non-supporters:
- “You better be careful, they have AIDS over there.”
- Raised eyebrows
- “That is a good cause but it’s not for you.”
- “ Someone else should do it.”
- Disapproving comments of 'concern' about how sick or dirty the children we adopt could be
- “God would not call you to something that involves taking such a big risk.“
- “You are not thinking of your own children.”
And the number one response from non-supporters:
- The Silent Treatment.
They are willing to talk about anything else…you know, like the pets and the weather. I have no problem talking about pets and weather. But, I think that makes it all the more difficult because in talking about the superficial with us they have proven they still recognize our existence yet are not willing to walk with us in the real parts of our life.
It’s extremely weird (I just put up a front using the word weird. Really is hurts.) to have some of our closest loved ones DEAD SILENT about the most important thing we have going on in our life. I don’t expect them to want to talk about our adoption EVERY time we see each other, to write a comment offering encouragement or support to ALL of my adoption blog posts, or to click the ‘I like’ button on EVERY facebook status I post dealing with our adoption.
It’s the purposeful, complete ignoring of our journey in general that's hard.
Maybe some of them deep down are okay with us adopting but are still in shock. Maybe some of them are okay with us adopting but just not from Haiti. And maybe, some of them are not okay with us adopting period. Maybe they get mad at themselves for not obeying a call in their own lives and the result is their disapproval of our obedience.
I will stop guessing. Only God really knows any of our heart’s motives.
Why am I writing all of this? Maybe I’m having a pity party. Am I not aloud to have a pity party every once in a while?
We know we are supposed to adopt. Defending this choice feels like a fight for man’s praise. According to the Word, we already know how the Lord feels about the orphans. His approval is all that ultimately matters.
6 comments:
I admire the strength and courage it took for you to write this Rochelle. YOU ARE SO BRAVE! God made you just who you are - not so you would fit in - OH NO! He made you just who you are to bring Him glory! Often it is the thing that makes us feel so different and not able to fit in - that thing that sets us apart from the crowd that God purposefully weaved into our being so that we would one day be equipped to do His work and bring Him glory. Who knew being 'different' was such a huge blessing :) Keep up the good fight dear friend - you are always in my prayers!!
Oh Rochelle ~ I know all too well what you are feeling and what you are experiencing. In our case, people didn't question us adopting, being that we are unable to have our own biological children. But I think most just assumed that we would do domestic/private adoption. So, when we announced that we would be going through the foster care system ~ whew...we got lots of different responses from - are you kidding? Why would you want to take on a child that you know has problems? Don't you want a newborn baby? Can you really love a child like that? Are you sure this is what you should be doing? Do you know what you're getting yourself into? Oh... I could go on and on and on.
BUT....in the end, my friend, we rested in knowing that we were following the call that the Lord gave to us. I won't say that it didn't hurt when people weren't as excited for us, or that we weren't disappointed when people just didn't ask us about what was going - because we were. No doubt.
But in the end, when Maggie came home and we embraced her, nothing else mattered. If they didn't approve, oh well. If they didn't understand, that's ok. And if they thought we were crazy - they were probably right :) But we were now a family and God has blessed us more than we could've imagined...and so, we just took comfort in that. And then we prayed....prayed for those who had missed out on something remarkable. I mean, just look at her and hear her story. God is working in our children.
In regards to our friends - we found out who our real friends were. Those that we thought would support us 100% didn't and those that we didn't think would, did.
Keep pressing on. Be yourselves. You may never get their support but you have to know that you're going to be ok.
Just know that we love you and are praying for you and supporting you every step of the way!
I LOVE my sisters in Christ!! Seriously LOVE them!!!
Tricia, Thank you for the support! I know you also are in the middle of very different challenges yet in some ways very similar! Prayers and love to you as well sweet friend!!
Courtney, You have THE story that says tells me press on because when you overcome through the power of Jesus...it will all be worth it! Maggie is a miracle from God!!
I am so sorry you are feeling some hurt Rochelle. Just chalk it up to those folks not really understanding. How could they and not want to run out an adopt?!?! You are so courageous and inspiring, keep pressing on and know that God is ALL over this! Praying!
Jessica~
I love you! The Spirit has used you to build me up in such a great way! I am in great admiration of your walk with the Lord. Thank you sweet friend!! Praise God for using His body of believers to build one another up! I am BLESSED!!
Chelsea~ I so covet your prayers and support. I fully believe the power of prayer and having brothers and sisters like you come along side in support for His glory is part of the joy we have in being part of the body of Christ! Thank you so much!! And I absolutely LOVE James 1:27...may it sink in as a truth that is lived out in our lives until He returns!! Much love!
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