Running to the Pain (unaware)

I had no idea when I started the journey of seeking the face of God that I would end up where I am now.  Remember when Jesus appeared to his disciples after being resurrected?  Even after Jesus showed them the scars on his hands and feet, “they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement.”  You know when you witness something unbelievable or far-fetched and you know it’s true but you still stand there saying, “I can’t believe it!” That's kind of what I feel like.

I had no clue when I began to seek His face if I would actually find it.  I think I had a few ideas of where I thought it might lead…like perhaps it would turn me into a well-known church volunteer or maybe I would get recognized for perfect attendance in all church promoted activities or something.  Lame-oh I know.  (I'm not referring to the church volunteering or perfect attendance as lame...it was the motive of my heart that I'm bringing attention to.)  Hey, proudly living within the “church” walls and believing I had “arrived” unfortunately gave me a seriously distorted view of the greatness of God’s design for the body of Christ.   

It’s quite pitiful actually.   

There I was filled with the same pride of the Pharisees and boasting of how great it was that I was “seeking the face of God.”  Blah, Blah, Blah.

Praise God for His unlimited love to pour out grace and mercy.  Praise God that He gave us the Holy Spirit to teach us all things. 

God alone is the heart changer…continually taking my ugly broken pieces of clay and molding them into something useful in His Kingdom.  It's nothing I deserve...it's a testimony of God's great grace.

 

This journey has been long and I can say with absolute certainty I have not “arrived” but I have sorted out some of this in the last few weeks through a sermon series my pastor is preaching on. 

The teachings have been about "running to the pain"…you know, as in going to broken people…people in pain... and actually spending ourselves on their behalf.  This is by the way what Jesus modeled for us.  

Through hearing these sermons and relating them to where I am on my Jesus journey, I had an “ah-ha” kind of moment. 

It’s not like an all new, never before heard of, get you on a feel good experiential high kind of discovery. 

No...Not at all like that. 

In fact, it’s almost like something I’ve always known in my head…I’m pretty certain I’ve even spoken these things before.  But, there is something different that happens when the Holy Spirit transforms our head knowledge into heart truth...     

My personal testimony will reveal that I ended up running to the pain unaware…if that makes any sense?

I'll try to explain.  I have never wanted to purposefully position myself in the midst of pain...even now...I'm not about signing up for pain.  HELLO...I’m the girl who gave birth to three babies and had three epidurals to go with each one of those deliveries.  Go ahead…call me a weenie.  No pain for me please.

What I have discovered, is through a hunger for a deeper personal and intimate fellowship with God, I was given new desires in my heart…my worldly desires were being replaced with His desires, blinders were being removed from my eyes, and a passion was birthed…a passion to carry the burdens of those in pain...a passion to offer them what relieves my pain and I knew would relieve theirs too...it's the love of Jesus.  

 As we begin to absorb the abundance of His love we become equipped to offer this same love to the hurting…we become a vessel of this great love.  Ultimately it is the love of Jesus that offers sustainable relief for the pain.     

A word of caution (from personal experience):  We should be cautious of running to the pain with the absence of our eyes completely fixed on Jesus.  Unless we encounter the pain of the least of these as a direct result of our journey of seeking Him first, we will quickly become absorbed in glorifying ourselves…striving in our own strength…

Seeking to fix the hurting in our own strength will lead us down the path of becoming self-glorified rescue champions and at best only provide those in pain a temporary artificial fix.  (Jesus is the bread of life that came down from heaven.  Your forefathers ate mana (the temporary fix) and died, but he who feeds on this bread (Jesus..the eternal fix) will live forever. John 6:58) 

We may achieve a praise rally from man in our own strength but we will be missing the point.  (How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?  John 5:44)   

Seeking His face first will eventually lead us to the hurting….the love we receive from seeking Him with all of our heart, soul, and mind will pour out of us to the broken and needy.  Consumed with Jesus, we will be unaware as we are drawn to the least of these like a magnet and have an uncontrollable desire to love with the overflow of the love God has given to us.  This love will touch the least of these and leave a lasting impact, blessing everyone involved…

Unaware.  That's me.  Totally unaware, I found myself running to the pain of some of the most beautiful people in Haiti.  The great blessing of sharing in something of Kingdom value has nothing to do with my righteousness...It is God's grace.  Click here to learn more about the orphan ministry we are supporting.

You are left asking..."What just happened here?!"  

“because of joy and amazement you won't even believe it.”   

Seek hard after Him...let us all draw closer to the LORD...With thankful hearts let our eyes turn to the One and Only God worthy of all praise. 

May we all find ourselves pouring out the love of Jesus to the people in pain around us but not through our own efforts or for our own names sake, but for the name of Jesus to be exalted.