Happy Thanksgiving

Every day the ache of separation grows more intense.  Some days I’d rather forget what I know and immerse myself back into the life I had before God opened my eyes to the orphans.  I don’t want to see the next monthly update from our orphanage saying our babies are growing and will soon no longer fit in the adorable clothes folded neatly in their room that our dear friends gave us at my baby shower…the shower given to me when we all hoped Raphaella and Wana would be with us NOW.  I don’t want to leave my heart so open and exposed to a whole poverty stricken village of people whose suffering I can’t comprehend.  I don’t have the magic spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way.  I don’t like praying that the orphanage our twins are living in will accept baby Michaina because Pastor Nahum doesn’t have the means to care for another orphan now and her mother doesn’t want her.  I don’t like days like yesterday when my prayer was answered and the Haitian administrator from our orphanage came to pick up Michaina only to add one more statistic to the unbearable orphan crisis in Haiti.  I hate that for Michaina, so tiny, defenseless, and unaware, becoming and orphan is her best option.  I don't like being thankful that a new life in a new orphanage is the very best for her..but it's true.   

There are many days when the beauty of adoption, restoration, and justice feel so far out of reach.  I get overwhelmed and wonder where God is in all of this.   How am I supposed to be thankful for a world of brokenness? 

Every day the fog thickens, more things become blurry, and life fails to make sense.  Through my own very real pain my heart crumbles with self-pity as well as compassion for the pain I see in the shattered world our Haitian brothers and sisters live in.   

I paint “better and easier” pictures in my mind and then get frustrated when life doesn't seem to look anything like my paintings.  

But God is there.

I feel him holding my hand.  He never lets go. 

I remember who I belong to.

I am a redeemed child of the King and His kingdom is my home…not this world.  My “better and easier” pictures I have painted pale in comparison to the splendor of my Daddy’s great inheritance He will give me.

I am thankful today because my hope is in Christ Jesus who will return to make all things new…God himself will be with us…He will wipe away every tear from our eyes…There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.  “He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.”  (Revelation 21:7)

But, more than a world where orphan labels are removed and oppression and poverty fail to harm and even more than the great kingdom with streets of gold and pearly gates, it is the King I long for.  I will see His face.   "My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!'  Your face, LORD, I will seek." (Psalm 27:8)

So in the ugliness of this broken world I can be thankful because Jesus said, "Behold, I am coming soon!...Yes, I am coming soon."  By His grace I will overcome and the deepest longing of my soul for the face of God will be fulfilled. 

Amen.  Come, Lord Jesus.

I have far to go but in God’s patience with me I am learning to be thankful in all circumstances…thankful when things are not "better and easier" and thankful for the wait.    

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”  Psalm 27:14

I'm waiting for you Jesus and I'm thankful for everything you have given me...both easy and hard, good and bad...I trust you are working all things together for my good and Your glory! 

"always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Ephesians 5:20)