"just a little longer"

I believe God wants good things for me so at the core of my being I am ok when His plans don’t line up with my plans and I don’t get my way.

I still get shaken from time to time…fear sometimes rattles me and I occasionally will ask “what if..."

Our paper work for our adoption has been in MOI (Minister of Interior) for one month and 11 days.  The time frame given to us for getting out of MOI was “one month or a little longer.”  I laugh about the “or a little longer” part so I won’t burst into tears.  Who the heck are these “ministers of interior” anyway?  What’s going on in their “interior” and why is it taking them “a little longer” to do whatever it is they are supposed to be doing with our adoption papers?  Don’t they know the papers they are handling represent real kids waiting for real parents?   Even as I write this blog I jump at every email notification hoping it will be the one announcing we have made it out of MOI.  This journey is long.  Every time we get through one hurdle we hear those words, “just a little longer.”  But, I suppose if the gross subjective-ness of this whole process was eliminated it wouldn’t really require faith and I know one of God’s many purposes for this journey is to refine me and shape me into a more faithful daughter.  I want that.  I really do.  Over all of my physical circumstances I want to stand before God as His daughter, faithful and holy.

I’m going to Haiti in December for Back to Life Ministries.  My plan is to visit Pastor Nahum and his precious orphans who we love like our very own family.  Pastor Nahum’s church will have their yearly revival and on December 9^th I will be in my first Haitian wedding standing in as a “godmother”…not exactly sure what that means but I think it’s similar to a maid of honor here???  We shall see :)

The plan, that is my plan, is to have my husband meet me in Haiti at the end of this trip, go pick up our girls and bring them home.  Could someone please give this 411 to whoever those ministers are in the interior? 

I can’t even think about coming home from Haiti in December without our babies.  My friends gave me a baby shower already.  I have winter clothes sizes 12-18 months ready for them to wear when they come home this December.  All 3 of my pregnancies were induced...they all 3 came early.  I wish I could induce the adoption of our twins...I would so do that!  Please God, don’t make me hunt down those interior ministers in December.  This whole thing could get ugly.  Uh…hmm…yes, that’s me exaggerating irrationally and maybe just a little bit serious.    

The parallel between this earthly adoption we are walking out and our own spiritual adoption that will one Day be complete positioning us face to face with our heavenly Father proves to be a source of great comfort to me. 

There is not a single thing that could shake my faith in the hope I have that it’s “just a little longer” before Jesus will come and rescue us from this broken world.  Everything in my spirit believes this.  I proclaim it from the rooftops!!

Our earthly adoption journey is a picture of this faith in action.  I can trust in God’s perfect ways no matter how long it takes.  We don't give up when we are told it's "just a little longer."  We pray and believe and we don't grow weary.  Oh how my heart and soul and mind and every fiber of every piece of me LOVES God!!  I trust Him!

Will it work out the way I’m planning in December?  I don’t know. 

But my foundation is Jesus Christ. 

So in this time of uncertainty I ask myself, “What do I believe?” 

I believe God brought me to this place for many reasons but most of all I believe it is for the purpose of God changing my heart for Him...

At the deepest level our journey, Haiti has helped me realize that my faith in Jesus is not just some sort of religious trend.   I really believe in Jesus Christ and He is my peace.    

So in the midst of trials and chaos I come to the place where I must admit how prideful I can be with my own plans and humbly I surrender them at His feet.    

If He is glorified and I am drawn closer to His heart then I am ok when my plans are not His plans.  I’m even thankful.  

On Monday, I received and unexpected gift from Pastor Nahum complete with a picture.  If you missed this "story written on my heart" it's because I wrote it on the Back to Life blog.  You can read it if you click here.