Going Haiti Home

Jesus tells a story in Luke 16:19-31 that impacts me deeply.  I’m not boasting of riches here, but from my experience with Haiti, it can't be argued that I am the “rich young man” in this story.  Then in regard to Haiti, I see my brothers and sisters in Christ, Pastor Nahum and his family, as a type of “Lazarus,” the beggar laid at my gate longing to eat what falls from my table. 

It should not be like this.  I get a ‘nauseated-heart-sinking-put me out of my misery now’ sensation and in effort to numb the emotion, I flip the pages in my Bible with the hope of finding a different passage to provide a distraction from hearing the convicting words of Jesus in Luke 16.  I only find more words confirming what Jesus has said: 

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions and give to the poor.  Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  (Luke 12:32-34) 

Flip to Romans 12:13, “Share with God’s people who are in need.  Practice hospitality.”

Flip to Matthew 25:34-36, “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’”

I’ll stop there because this blog couldn’t possibly hold all the words of the Bible that call us to notice and care for those in need.  The message is clear and it’s throughout the entire Bible. 

If you have been reading in the last 6 months, you will know I have become very good friends with a Haitian pastor whom I just mentioned whose name is Pastor Nahum.  I was introduced to him by a precious friend after we learned Gaelle was not adoptable.  From the moment we began communicating, God has shown favor on our relationship.  Everything from the first few months from when he took in our twins and cared for them out of such scarcity to helping me get them transferred to God’s Littlest Angels orphanage, we have prayed for each other and found ourselves depending on God for everything. 

If it was only about the adoption, our relationship would have ended after the babies were transferred to GLA.  This is not the case.  As with any relationship founded on Christ Jesus, it grows stronger each day and it’s lasting. 

Pastor Nahum once told me, “I am a father of my word.  When I say yes it is yes and when I say no it is no.”  He is true to his word and he has not only talked the talk but proved himself as he has been faithful to do everything he has said he would do to help me walk through this adoption.  Through his devotion to the orphans living in his village in Mirebalais, Haiti, I have witnessed what it looks like to offer oneself as a living sacrifice to the LORD. 

Pastor Nahum and his family are very special to us.   

The heavy emotion I spoke of at the beginning of this blog takes over knowing the great needs of Pastor Nahum.  Looking at the heart, I see beauty…there is peace.  But, when my eyes settle on his living conditions I’m crushed.   He may be poor in material things, but he has a strength and joy that keeps his spirit alive through Jesus. 

God has moved in mighty ways.   Through prayers and the offering of hope, love, and encouragement, we have mutually encouraged one another in the faith. 

However, in offering relief for their physical hardships, it’s easy to grow helpless.  I watch Pastor Nahum live through the difficulties by calling on the Name of Jesus and relying on Him for everything, every day.  Because of this, he demonstrates that God’s grace is sufficient. 

I will not give up praying for God to change their sorrow into joy… their ashes into beauty.    

As my eyes witness the needs and suffering of my family in Haiti, I become sad and sometimes think of how much easier it would be to close my eyes. 

With my eyes closed I could say “peace, peace,” when there is no peace.  Isn’t there a pretty band-aid I can cover this situation with?  It’s too much of a burden to carry.  Can denial be my solution?  I am not equipped to provide anything substantial.  Why try?  I’m just a girl from Texas.     

I’m tempted to entertain the lies of Satan.  I sometimes hear him laughing at me.  He says, “Aren’t you a foolish girl?!  How silly for you to trust the LORD.  Like He would ever use you to make a difference!  Just give up already.  Come and drink from the pleasures of this world that I can offer to you now.”  The need is extreme and when all I have to offer never seems enough the heart inside my chest aches. 

BUT…

Thank you, Jesus!!  I’m not in this alone.  Christ Jesus has given me the power of His Holy Spirit and in my weaknesses His power rests on me and His grace is sufficient.  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I praise my Heavenly Father for His grace.  He shields me from Satan’s lies and turns my eyes to Him.  I remember I am a daughter of the KING and He often chooses the weak.  I repeat Paul’s words, “That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. “(2 Corinthians 12:10) 

So, as one who is weak and one who is least likely, in love and complete dependence on Christ, I choose to carry the burdens of my Haitian father and his family.  I stand with him to support him in any way God grants me the grace to offer.    

The LORD has given us riches and our heart’s desire is to be good and faithful stewards of these riches.  He has shown us His people sitting at our gate.  Lord , help us to walk obediently to Your Word.  

Pastor Nahum and his family are God’s people.  They love Jesus and are in need.  Am I still merely throwing scraps at the gate?  Oh, there is that unbearable emotion overcoming me now as I think of Jesus’ words. 

Lord, give me a deeper love still for the orphan and the most needy and poor.  Take me to them that I may pour out from the depths of my soul Your love to them.  Guide my hands and feet and guard each word I speak that I may only speak your truth in love. 

To me, Haiti has been fellowship with the Holy Spirit and an opportunity for me to find soul refreshment...a time God takes my heart and molds it...seeds are planted...by God's grace a few more scales are removed from these sinful eyes.  I am surrounded by the orphans...those God holds close to His own heart. 

I am eager to go.  I say, “here am I, send me.”  Thank you, Jesus.  A door has opened for me to go and visit him and bring them desperately needed supplies.  I will depart Dallas Fort Worth airport on Sept.28th and by 3 or 4 pm I will once again be face to face with my Haitian family.  

Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love.  I love you and ask God to bless each of you and your families in Jesus’ Name.

A special thanks to my sisters, Kathryn, Ashley, Michelle and Christi for blessing me and helping me to gather supplies and preparing me to go!  I love you with all my heart!!!!