SURPRISE PICTURES!!

There is nothing like having your soul refreshed through an unexpected gift from the LORD. 

This can happen in so many ways, but here is what it looked like for me last night:

It was late…about 11:30pm.  I was finishing up a few things just before going to bed and decided to run my finger across the mouse pad on my laptop one last time to see if I had received new messages.  Of course I could have waited until the morning, but something spurred me to do it then despite being tired. 

One new email message sat in my inbox and grabbed my attention.

It was from Glenda, a Canadian missionary I met while I was in Haiti at the end of June.  While I was there to meet my babies for the first time face to face, she was there with her husband serving with the Heartline ministry.  We both stayed at the Heartline house and had the opportunity to get to know each other and exchange contact info. 

So late last night, it was Glenda’s email that appeared on my screen just waiting to reveal a great blessing.    

The very moment I sat down to read her letter the unexpected gift from my Heavenly Father was given to me.  You know, our Father has so many good gifts for His children. 

There on my screen were 6 new beautiful photos of my babies!  Not the monthly update pictures from GLA...completely separate bonus pictures because that's just how good our God is!

As I looked intently at each of their beautiful details, I spoke to them…

“I love you baby girl.” 

Raphaella (Grace Ella)

“Mommy wants to kiss those ‘wittle’ cheeks!” 

Wanna (Faith Rochelle)

I haven’t lost my mind…it just does a mama’s heart good to talk to their babies.  If you are a mommy, or even a daddy for that matter, you know you talk to your children in different ways at different ages.  There is so much of the ‘baby talk’ that I have missed out on.  It’s not like I walk around my house talking baby talk into the air, but when I get a new picture and see a new expression, I can’t help but to talk to them as though they were right in my lap.  It’s a mother’s natural response. 

Here’s what I’m saying:  to not talk to my babies, to not hold my babies, to not have my babies home with me…all of this goes against what it good and right…it all disagrees with my motherly instincts and the honest truth is that it hurts. 

But I want to be loud and clear on this note.  Just because it hurts, is challenging, is scary, is difficult or even seemingly impossible, does not disqualify it as God’s will for us. 

It was immediately clear as soon as my eyes made contact with these pictures that God himself gave me this gift to encourage me as I continue this adoption journey.  I can imagine the Father telling me, “Don’t be discouraged.  Keep trusting me.  Look what I have for you….enjoy these new pictures of the baby girls.  I love you, daughter.”

It’s amazing.  God is amazing! 

Yes.  With every ounce of my being, I long to have our babies home.  Oh, if I could find a word to express this desire...

I think this is Faith...that is one perfectly cute little head!

There’s no words to fit this desire…just know it’s crazy HUGE!!

Baby Grace

So imagine with me if you can the grandness of this desire I’m expressing for my babies to come home and then hear me… 

That very desire I have doesn’t even compare to the longing I have to be home with Jesus.  Do you know how much I want to be face to face with the one who gives me life?!  The Creator of the world chooses to make my heart beat and cares about me.  Too grand to comprehend!  I’m homesick for my heavenly home.  Each morning I wake up I want tell Jesus, "I know you are the Son of God and You died on the cross as a penalty for my sinfulness.  I believe in You and I believe You are going to return to take me home.  I know where I am now is only temporary…only a passing through.  I want You.  I need You.  Come LORD Jesus!”    

Okay, so you are going to have to just deal with me going off on my Jesus spills.  He’s that good.  He’s that worthy.  He’s everything!

Back to the pictures:

Grace has gorgeous eyes!

Faith..my precious beauty!

This was such an incredible gift.  As I got up from my computer I could only take about three steps before I was so overcome by the goodness of our LORD.  There I was on my knees on my kitchen floor filled with praise, thankfulness, and tears of joy.  Thank you, Jesus!  I love You!     

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  James 1:17